The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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