i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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