no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
