I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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