I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
