Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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