I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
420 ftw
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize