C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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