I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
