Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
there was a trapeze. enough said
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
