i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
