If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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