i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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