You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
