you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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