I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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