His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
