hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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