I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i wish my penis had a tongue
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
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