you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
