my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
