Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
