What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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