awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
