Sry I called you an 8
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
