You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i love accidental penises.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
