it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
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