Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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