there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Operation Purity has been aborted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize