So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
