I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
