I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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