She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
