I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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