UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
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