it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize