What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize