yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
