Is it normal to miss your booty call?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
