so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
