The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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