I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
