I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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