it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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