I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
no more duck duck goose at the bar
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
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