i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
