You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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