How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Randomize
