I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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