she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
