Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
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