I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
