I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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