Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Can you bring me the toilet please
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
