Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Randomize
