I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
