so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
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Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
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I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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