I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
