Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
