Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
