just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
