maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
And then he peed in my hair
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