based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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