1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I need to calm my uterus...
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
