marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
