im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
