I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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