I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
