i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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