Where are you?
In a non slutty way
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
